How do I work with River after my therapist refers me?
Congratulations! You achieved the first part of the process. Now that your therapist has referred you, we finally get to meet. I’m excited about getting to know you. Here are the details.
How much time will this take?
Each series lasts three months. For each series, we will meet in person three times each month for three months. Each appointment lasts two hours. I am available Monday through Friday from 11am to 6pm, and schedule no more than two appointments per day. Ideally, we will find a day and time that can become our regular meeting time each week, taking one week off each month for you to practice your new social and relating skills with people in your life.
Assessment. At the end of our time together, you and your therapist can decide whether another series would serve you.
What outcomes can we guarantee in three months? None. Your own body, along with your openness to change and your commitment to practice - determine your progress.
What can we guarantee in three months? We can guarantee that you will have an opportunity to transform important aspects of your life within this three month period. Many of my clients have declared success after one series and gone on to enjoy a life of fulfilling intimate relationships.
How much money will this cost?
Each three month series is $3600.00. This includes nine two-hour sessions, and my communication in between our appointments with your therapist and with you. Payment is due in two installments: one-half paid by one week prior to our first appointment, and one-half paid by one week prior to our fifth appointment in the series.
This is an investment - an investment in an entirely new future for you. The price tag is reasonable when you compare it with the cost of:
a lifetime of pills,
pumps and prods,
all the various "quick-fix" remedies out there,
the medical problems and chronic disease that come from loneliness and isolation, or
the panic or anxiety every time it’s time to meet a new partner or bring them home.
Where will we meet?
Austin. We will spend time together in Austin, Texas. If you live in Austin, ideally we will meet at least one time in your home so you will have an opportunity to host a date in your home.
If you do not live in Austin, I invite you to travel to our beautiful destination city. We can arrange for an intensive (multiple sessions on multiple days in close proximity) if you live elsewhere.
The address, and a mobile number for texting last minute updates, are provided upon scheduling.
How will we relate to one another during our time together?
Mutual respect. We will be together so you can practice intimate relationship. A successful intimate relationship is based on respect and dignity. My intention is to offer you respect and dignity in every moment, and I will request the same.
Honesty. I will be totally honest with you and I ask you to be totally honest with me. With all of the time we will both invest, it would be wasteful if we were not honest with one another.
No judgment. My intention is to create a space where there is no right and wrong, there is just what is. Judgment of ourselves or others is never helpful. Because we are human, shame and judgment will arise. That's natural. Our agreement will be to name them as soon as we become aware, and release them to the best of our ability. And then return to being with what is.
Emotions are welcome. One of the biggest blocks to intimacy and incredible sex is emotional repression. The beauty of our relationship is that it is a real relationship. You have a safe space to practice all aspects of relating, including expressing emotion. All are welcome - tears, laughter, anger, grief, etc.. Emotional expression gives us a rich opportunity to learn.
Arousal. Sexual arousal is a beautiful thing. In our space it is always okay to be sexually aroused, and it is always okay not to be sexually aroused. Also, arousal does not mean having an erection. They are not the same. Arousal is a state of being, it's an energy.
Love. Yes, I love. The funny thing about love is we never run out. No matter how much we give, we always have more. So yes, I am open to loving you.
How do I prepare for our time together?
Dream. Dream into your ideal future. Fun, right? Of course it is, because it is YOUR IDEAL future with sex and intimacy. Set aside time and dream. Envision the most exciting possible future for your love life. Once you have a strong vision, I will hold it with you.
Notice your beliefs. Closely related to your vision is your mindset. Your beliefs. See if you can track your beliefs. Do you have a hidden belief that you’re not lovable? Do you believe that your body will never work right? Do you believe you will never have the perfect partner? Consider whether it is possible to be successful if you are holding a belief that you will never be successful. Become aware of your beliefs so we can see if they might be blocking you, even unconsciously.
Journal to track your discoveries, take notes, record your dreams, list your beliefs, draw pictures, to use in whatever creative way you like to document your journey. You will be learning a LOT of new information. I highly recommend that you write it down. A journal allows you to recall important points later, to see where you were and where you’re going. A journal is key to your success.
Wear comfortable clothes for our sessions. It’s important that your clothes allow you to breathe deeply and freely. If your belly is restricted AT ALL by your belt, pants, skirt or shorts then you are depriving your body of full relaxation. Wear comfortable clothes whenever possible.
Prepare for discomfort. I will do everything I can to provide a comfortable space - easy parking, clean space, well lit, nice temperature, convenient bathroom, water, tea, etc.. At the same time, healthy growth involves a little discomfort, usually emotional discomfort. If we never allow discomfort, we may be stumping our growth. And life is too short to stump growth.
How will we relate outside our time together?
Before you hire me, I am available by email for questions, comments and concerns. Use the contact buttons on this site.
My relationship to email. I generally address emails a few times a week other than weekends or holidays. Some days I don’t have an opportunity to sit at the computer so if you don’t hear from me for a few days, it’s not personal. I spend limited time at the computer.
After you hire me I love to have email updates and questions from you. I will be on your team. Please do not hesitate to email me as we play together.
I will not initiate communication with you unless it is a logistical or extenuating circumstance.
Anonymity in public. Unless we agree otherwise, if I see you in public I will not acknowledge you. So you aren’t put in an awkward position. If you would like me to acknowledge you, we can agree to that and I will be more than happy to do so. It's up to you.